Saturday, February 03, 2007

Loving Oneself

True communication comes from the heart, and is about a "love connection" - even when we are communicating with friends or acquaintances rather than family, spouses, or lovers. Love starts with oneself; I cannot truly love you unless I also love myself. And the extent to which I can love you is bounded by the extent to which I love myself. I cannot truly love you unless I truly love myself.

Sacrificing myself for you just to please you is not loving you, because it is not loving myself. Allowing you to treat me in unacceptable ways is not loving because it does not love myself. Of course treating you in ways that are unacceptable to you is obviously not loving you.

Love of self is not the same as egotism or ego pridefulness. It is accepting my own self-worth and intrinsic value. Love of self is unconditional - I don't love myself because I am good at anything or because of my "good deeds." I may feel good about these things, but self-love exists independently of any conditional esteem.