Validating

Validating another person means acknowledging and accepting their right to feel what they feel and their right to have their opinions and beliefs. It doesn't mean agreeing with their opinions or beliefs. Feelings are always valid, because they are "neither right nor wrong." Feelings may be caused by beliefs that may be right or wrong - but the validity of a person's right to hold their beliefs has nothing to do with their objective factuality. Validating another person's thoughts and feelings, especially where there is a disagreement with them, greatly enhances communication and makes it more genuine.

This is especially important when there is negativity or criticism coming from the other person. If we validate them, the energy will drop and they will inevitably become more relaxed and open. If we resist or defend, the temperature will simply get higher. They will not feel heard, and often will repeat the same message, but with more energy. When someone is caught up in their negative feelings towards another, they are not sufficiently aware to truly hear what you want to say to them. So it is not a good time to set them straight or justify yourself. Once they feel heard and validated, then (and only then) are they in a place where they can hear what you have to say. Even if your message is that it is not okay to be spoken to that way, they cannot hear it in the midst of their high negative feelings.